Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Judah, this almost 7 year old boy of mine


It's late, but I feel like I need to write. That boy of mine keeps saying stuff that needs to be written down. Those little girls of mine made me laugh tonight with their cute dancing. Miriam put on a CD and Nadia bounced to it while Miriam showed me her new dances. Precious.
THE EGG AWARD
Judah accidentally broke a little award he received last year for his egg decorating skills. When he remembered what the award was for, he admitted that the egg wasn't really award-worthy. Each year the Mulvihills host an egg-decorating contest and I suggested that this year he bring some of his wax with which he makes wax weapons and costumes for his bears and use that to decorate his egg. That would most definitely be award-worthy. "Are you sure, Mom? Do you really think I'll win an award? Do you swear on your honor as a mother?"
BIG AND POWERFUL, MEET SMALL AND FEARFUL
Earlier today some friends came over and when I told Judah who was coming, he said, "Aw, Mom, I don't want him to come over."

"Why not?" I asked.

"He's bossy . . . and he always says, 'I'm older than you,' . . . and he threatens . . . "

"What do you mean, 'He threatens'?" I asked.

"He says things like, 'If you don't do this, then I'll do this. He threatens to take or break my best toys or to hurt me . . . " Judah continued.

"What if you said something like, 'Do you want me to get our moms involved?" I suggested.

"I've tried that. He says, 'Go ahead and tell. I'll just lie,'" said Judah.

"Hmmmm. Well, what do you think the consequences would be if he really did those things?" I wondered aloud.

"Not much! He's a kid! What could they do to him that would possibly be worse than what he could do to me?" Judah had me there.

I asked if he wanted to talk to his friend's mom or if he wanted me to talk to her, and he said yes, he wanted me to do the talking. He didn't want me to send her a text message before they arrived. He wanted me to talk to her in person. So I did. She handled it gracefully, had him apologize to Judah and to me, and afterward Judah seemed like the weight of the world was lifted from his shoulders. I happened to mention wrestling, which gave Judah the idea to tackle his friend (who happens to be only a year older but more than twice his size), so he did. And life went on.

The main reason I'm journaling this is because of his last comment ("what could they do to him?"), which gave me a window into his thoughts and made me laugh a little. I remember that feeling. I'm also thankful for the way my friend handled the situation. In a matter of minutes, the boys were back to wrestling and playing and running around the yard together. It very easily could have been my kid who did the "bossing and threatening." In fact, these are very often Miriam's complaints. Sigh. There's nothing like having someone who's older and bigger and more powerful to remind you how small and how weak you are. I'm really proud of Judah for articulating his feelings and letting us help. The relationship was restored, and that is a beautiful thing.

No comments: