Broken and Restored

A friend I used to work with sent me the link to an interview he did with New Man e-Magazine. The timing is almost eerie. I have friends who are in the middle of a separation, other friends whose marriages are on the decline, and even more friends whose marriages have completely fallen apart. I'm praying day and night for my separated friends, and my heart is grieving for my divorced friends.

Friday night I spoke with a friend who is divorced. We were talking about how this time of year is particularly challenging. She said that the first week of December is the anniversary of the death of her marriage. This time last year, my marriage was a mess. James and I were facing the most difficult season of our marriage since our first year, which is still the worst--and, in some ways, the best--year of my life. I was coordinating meals for Joe and Denise Bradford when Joe asked me how James was doing. I said, "I don't know how to answer that." So I told him what was going on, and he asked if he could share some scripture with me.

He showed me verse after verse about marriage, and something supernatural happened. It was as if a window opened in my marriage, and heaven rushed in. From that point forward, my husband and I were able to be kind to each other. Prior to that, we had gotten downright rude. On Thanksgiving day last year, I got almost to Springfield when I decided I couldn't spend the day with him, so I drove him all the way back home and spent Thanksgiving at my parents' house while he went to a movie. We couldn't stand each other. No matter what we said or did, it was wrong. But . . . after Joe shared those scriptures and prayed for us, something changed.

During the same month, I also got together with a group of girls who prayed for specific things--I asked for breakthrough in my marriage. Two of the girls asked for babies. One friend asked for a red van. Guess what? Every single request was granted. My marriage is healed and thriving. My two friends who were yearning for babies are now pregnant. And my friend Rachel has a red van that has a wonderful God-story surrounding it.

I'm continually being brought back around to: You don't have because you don't ask (Matthew 7). Well, I'm asking. Lord, heal my friends' marriages!

While the enemy came to steal, kill, and destroy, Jesus came to bring life, and life abundantly (John 10:10). Jesus actually appeared to destroy the work of the evil one (1 John 3:8).

When I think about my friends and their marriage vows, I'm brought back to: "What God has joined together, let no man separate." Why did God join them together? For what purpose are they married? I pray that they will be able to hold on until they see those purposes--their destiny--their oneness as a couple. I pray that they will trust God to heal their marriage.

God is a healer and a redeemer. If we give up on our marriages, are we not putting our trust in ourselves and, in essence, saying to God, "I don't trust you to work this out." That's definitely what I was doing this time last year. I was saying, "God, you tricked me. You set me up for failure. I can do this on my own a lot better than relying on you to help me." And then the kingdom of God invaded our marriage. And God showed himself able to heal. And restore. And resurrect.

Jesus taught us to pray, "YOUR KINGDOM COME, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." What is the kingdom? The kingdom of God is righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:16-18). Righteousness refers to a right-relationship with God. What does that look like? From a biblical perspective, what does a right-relationship with God look like? Does it look like obedience? Trust? Faith?

I'm amazed at the kind of faith that I see in the people of the Old Testament. God, give us that kind of faith! People like Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, Daniel, and David, who KNEW God would save them from destruction, proclaimed their faith aloud before being thrown into a pit of fire or into a lions' den or before rushing at a giant with a small weapon and great faith. These men had full confidence that God would rescue them. And he did.

When I read about Daniel, I'm struck by his response to the king after spending the night with lions. "Oh, King, live forever!" he said. He didn't lash out in anger. He treated the king with the same honor and respect he would want for himself. Which brings me back to Matthew 7. If we do to others what we would have them do to us (v. 12), then what often happens is that our behavior gets mirrored back to us. I see it all the time with my kids. I treat them harshly, I get back harsh words. I treat them kindly, I get back soft hearts. It is the kindness of the Lord that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4). His loving-kindness softens our hearts.

My prayer is this:

God, help us to love each other well. Help us to love when it's not convenient. Help us to love when it's not reciprocated. Help us to love our enemies, to bless those who persecute us, to bless and not curse (Romans 12:14). Help us to do to others what we would have them do to us. Help us to trust you, to believe you, to have faith in you.

God, give us hearts of thankfulness.