Today, I heal.

(NOTE: the picture is from 2006, when I was pregnant with Miriam, approximately as far along as I am now. I just realized that I don't have any pictures yet of my "Nadia Ruth Belly"!)

Last night marks the first night of the week spent in my own bed, the first full night of sleep I've had all week (well, as "full" as is possible at 7 months pregnant), and the first night I didn't have to get up at 1:30 or 2:00 AM and stretch for an hour until the back pain subsided enough to lie back down and try to get a bit more sleep.

I have a newly discovered compassion for women on bed-rest as well as those who suffer from chronic back pain. The pain I experienced this week can be likened to back labor during delivery or kidney stone pain. Excruciating. Debilitating. Horrendous. Make-it-go-away-PLEASE-kind of pain. I was telling my friend Rachel, who has dealt with chronic back pain, that I didn't even have an appetite because it's terribly difficult to eat when it feels as though someone is standing behind you incessantly pounding on your back with a hammer. When my appetite came back, I knew I was on the mend.

So I think it started because of a variety of reasons:
1) I'm 7 months pregnant. My little baby belly is not so little anymore.
2) Miriam was sick from Friday night all through the next day (Saturday) of last week. She complained of her legs hurting, so when she needed to pee, I would pick her up from her bed, take her to the potty, and try to prevent her from standing for any length of time. James had Judah at Davis Kidd all day, so I was Mira's only option for getting around without tears. I ended up carrying her up and down the steps several times. I also got up several times during the night to help her. I'm sure I put WAY too much strain on my back.
3) Saturday night I was coughing, so I propped up on two large pillows, which is generally not comfortable for me, but I was finally able to get to sleep.
4) Then, Miriam asked to sleep in my bed. I thought it would be a lot easier to take her to the potty or check on her if she were right there, so I conceded. I woke up in some pretty crazy positions, like barely hanging off the side of the bed with her feet on my belly, so I needing to move her several times (again, putting more strain on my back).
5) So Sunday, I was in so much pain that I started contacting massage therapists. Sunday night I couldn't lie down--at all. I slept sitting up on the couch, putting a whole lot of pressure on my lower back and hips, and waking up every 30 minutes or so to stretch my neck and back. By Monday I was desperate for help.

My extraordinary midwife Heather came to the rescue on Monday. She brought her massage table and chair for me to borrow until I no longer needed them, she rubbed my back, and she took me to Carole, a professional massage therapist, that night. (Carole is my friend Christen's mom. When we spent some time together recently, Christen told me about how much she recommended her mom and to keep her in mind if ever I needed a massage.)

Heather stayed through the hour-long massage then took me back home and helped me get in a semi-comfortable position on the massage table by having me lay on my side and propping up my leg with three pillows and my arm with three pillows. She said that if I needed a massage every day, she would be available to do it. Amazing.

My friend Wendy came over on Tuesday morning, swept the living room and kitchen floors, wiped down the kitchen counters, and made some tea for me. Her visit was the perfect distraction and really helped lift my spirits. If you've ever dealt with chronic pain, you know how easy it is to slip into a depressive state.

On Tuesday afternoon (was it Tuesday? the days are running together), my friend Ruthie took the kids and came back hours later with my two happy children, her precious one-year-old daughter, homemade cookies, and dinner for all of us. Apparently the girls took naps while Judah listened to an audio book, so Ruthie was able to accomplish much in the kitchen. What a huge blessing she was--not only did I get a hot bath, a light massage by my fabulous midwife, and a nap while she was gone, but I also had dinner made when I woke up. Amazing.

Tuesday night I started feeling a little better. The pain around my shoulder blades had begun to subside, but my lower back and hips had started to ache as if I were having back labor.

On Wednesday, our friend Michelle came over and helped with the kids and the kitchen. Judah was asleep when she arrived, but Miriam was thrilled that she finally had someone to hold her.

By Wednesday afternoon, I had regained somewhat of an appetite. While Michelle played with Miriam upstairs, I got a much-needed nap and then put together a savory chicken salad with lots of fresh garlic, Kalamata olives, sundried tomatoes, heirloom cherry tomatoes, toasted pine nuts, extra virgin olive oil, sea salt, fresh-cracked pepper, a touch of rosemary, and a shake of freshly-grated parmesan cheese. Mmmmmm. I ate the whole thing!

After I took a hot shower, it actually crossed my mind to put on some make-up and maybe go somewhere. Of course, I was in no shape to go anywhere, but the fact that it crossed my mind was HUGE. Prior to that moment, I wasn't able to think past the pain I was experiencing. By then, it had been a full week since I had driven my van. The only time I left the house was to go to the massage on Monday, and Heather my midwife did the driving.

Wednesday night I had another professional massage with Carole, which I think did wonders for my body. She came to my house at around 8 PM and let me go right to sleep afterward (again, propped up with pillows on the massage table in the living room). It took about 24 hours to really feel the effects of each massage, but when the relief came, it was more than welcome!

Thursday morning Christen came over, took me to Wendy's house to drop off the kids, and then carted me to Bellevue for a chiropractic appointment where my midwife met me. Christen waited for over an hour while I received a chiropractic adjustment and massage. Wow.

Lisa, the chiropractor, has known my midwife for 18 years and has had four home-births. She said that each massage had done wonders to get me loosened up enough for her to work on me and adjusted me back to a "normal" state. Now it was up to me to rest and allow my body to heal. Two more days, she said, of lying around, not doing any housework and not reaching for anything. (I'll try!)

Christen drove me to Wendy's again to pick up the kids, then we went to Calypso for a super-yummy lunch. When we got back home, Christen stayed and played with the kids while I rested. I managed to sneak in a nap. Before she left that night, she made a delicious smoothie for me and cleaned up the kitchen. She even offered to rotate the laundry and do anything else that I might need. The kids enjoyed her so much that they said loved her more than they loved their own mother and wished she were their mother!

That afternoon, Judah was invited to spend the night with his friend Micah. He was so excited about going that he pulled all his stuff together and sat on the couch waiting patiently for Daddy to take him. This was his first friend-sleepover and the first time his friend Micah had a friend spend the night, too. (Micah has two older brothers and two younger sisters and happens to be exactly the same age as Judah. They get along famously.)

James got a much-needed break by going to his friend Nathan's house while Miriam and I snuggled on the couch. Heather, my midwife, came to do my prenatal exam and said everything having to do with the baby looks perfect (blood pressure, weight, urine test, baby's heartbeat, measurement of the ever-expanding belly, etc.).

Right after Heather left, Christy brought me the glorious fish special from Kalamata's. We sat down to eat together and then it was time to recline on the massage table yet again. Christy took Miriam upstairs for a bath, washed her hair, combed out the terrible rat's nest (somehow Mira ends up with a horrible rat's nest in the back of her hair every time she wears a fleece hoodie or jacket), and put her to bed. The previous two nights, Miriam slept on the couch near me while Judah slept with James upstairs. It was wonderful not to be aware of her every move throughout the night!

That night I shifted around a lot, but I only had about 30 minutes in the middle of the night that caused me to get up and try to stretch out to relieve the pain near my left kidney. I even got three consecutive hours of sleep! WooHoo!!!

Friday morning brought snow, snow, and more snow. In fact, it took James over twice as long to go pick up Judah as it normally would because the roads were so bad between here and Franklin. When Judah arrived home, he and I snuggled on the couch for a while. Staying up late giggling and playing with his friend in the snow really wore him out! That night, Micah called Judah. It was really cute to hear him chatting for a minute with his friend on the phone.

Friday night was spent on the couch having a "date night" with my husband. We didn't go anywhere, but we actually looked at each other and talked to each other for the longest period of time we've had together all week (he's been working crazy hours--literally morning, noon and night--and I've been laid up in pain).

I attempted sleeping in my own bed last night and was met with SUCCESS!!! I only got up to pee once. Shifting from side to side wasn't nearly as complicated with one pillow versus six, and I never had to pace the floor or sit or stretch to alleviate back pain. I stayed in bed all night and woke up just before 8 AM feeling comfortable, refreshed, and rested--for the first time in over a week. Wow.

So here I am. It's Saturday, and I'm trying to continue to rest. It's not easy--especially when I'm looking at all the things that need to be done and reading about all the preparations that need to be made for our upcoming homebirth. But I know it's worth it. I don't want to move backward. I want only to move forward toward 100% recovery. And if I ever find myself with an opportunity to serve someone who is dealing with chronic pain or bedrest, I'll definitely follow in the example of all the dear friends who helped me this week. THANK YOU!!!

I also want to thank the friends (Chanell & Rachel) and family (Mom!) who offered to help but who were stopped by this huge snowstorm. Ashley deserves thanks for turning us on to Vitalzym, a nutritional systemic enzyme supplement that she calls a "chiropractor in a box." I also want to publicly thank everyone who prayed for my recovery. I really started seeing marked improvement--especially emotionally--when I reached out via text and asked for prayer. That's when the fog began to lift and I began to experience hope for full recovery.

Oh, and thanks to A Charlotte Mason Companion for keeping me company this week. From Karen Andreola's book, I read and memorized this verse, "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer" (boldface mine).

As my midwife said this week, there is LIFE to be found in the Word. I definitely experienced life this week through the written word, the scriptures, and my treasured friends and family.

Today, I heal.